| Memoirs
Of Grandpa And Grandma
First off I would like to say that my thoughts of both Grandpa and Grandma are filled with incredible moments of joy, laughter, happiness, and unconditional love. As I begin to gather my thoughts one can only hope that my writing flows as fondly as my memory of them both, however words alone cannot truly emphasize my special moments with them. As sad as I was to see them both pass on, the one thing that can be counted on to keep their spirits alive are my memories One of the greatest struggles that we encounter in today´s world is the complexity of an ever changing environment…the hustle and bustle to get as much as done as we possibly can before the days over. In my lifetime there´s been such an exponential change in technology and knowledge that I´m not certain the body is truly meant to absorb it all gainfully. Somewhere along the way someone forgot to stop and smell the roses or possibly there are too few people living that had the ability. For me Grandpa and Grandma were the type of people who enjoyed the simple things in life and who served notice to me that there still are roses left to smell. There are two eras of memories that need to be mentioned separately due partly because of my young age while Grandpa was still alive and of course the remainder when Grandma was living alone in Deep River. My earliest recollections of my Grandparents are when they lived in the little white house in Toronto (Willowdale) with the garden in the back yard. I wonder if I garden today because of this but then again every good Hochbin should own a garden. Also worth mentioning is that a true Hochban garden comes complete with a mulch box! What would Grandma´s garden be like without a homemade mulch box? |
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| As a kid going to visit them in Toronto was a big deal however I did
have a few basic necessities of life that I demanded and usually got. What
worked in my favour was that my brothers and sisters (my first union) also
shared the same thoughts and greatly helped my cause. It´s worthy
to note at this time I had an extremely advantageous position in the family
circle at this juncture of my life (I was below ten years of age) Firstly,
I was younger then the first two sets of twins by enough of a margin that
it paid huge dividends when disciplined or rewarded. Point of fact is that
I benefited most of the time being younger as well as being the only non-twin.
My younger brat-like sisters however, were too small at the time to say
or do anything, so again I triumphed!
Now back to my, I mean OUR basic necessities which revolved around sleep, food and entertainment. For bedtime we all required individual duvets otherwise there would be no sleep for anyone under 30. Secondly we demanded the following meals without compromise: Breakfast had to be Cream Of Wheat sometimes accompanied with poached eggs. Lunches and suppers could be any of the following combinations: sauerkraut and meatballs, burrocks, bean soup with donuts, or homemade noodles fried in bacon fat with croutons. Occasionally a can of sardines and hot banana peppers would grace the dinner table, which was not for everyone, however I enjoyed them very much and still do to this day. As always, Grandma and Grandpa faithfully prepared these favourite simple dishes each and every time we visited and have become somewhat of heritage meals for our family. As far as entertainment was concerned we only had one small yet significant demand regarding the itinerary of events for our Toronto visits: It was an absolute must to go to the Zoo! As kids it was thrilling to see all the animals we´d only see on TV and especially significant for us were the monkeys. As much as I´m tempted to say they reminded me of my brothers and sisters, I won´t for the sake of the animal kingdom. On one particular visit to the old Toronto Zoo I remember Grandma speaking to this group of monkeys and they were so intrigued by her that they continued to respond wildly as though her words had meaning. We were in hysterics and didn´t want to leave the monkeys or Grandma for that matter. I´ve never seen Grandma laugh or have as much fun as she had on that day! |
| Perhaps the biggest scare of my young career at that time was getting
temporarily separated from Grandpa and Grandma while taking the subway
from downtown towards home. As kids would do Cliff, Chris and I ran as
fast as we could to board the subway however there was no way Grandpa was
going to make it, especially as he walked with a cane. After considerable
thought for young kids, our brilliant plan was to exit at the next stop,
board the following train and hopefully would find ourselves on the same
caboose as them. We didn´t end up on the same caboose however as
luck would have it we were at least on the same train and were eventually
were happily reunited at our station…and for five bucks a grandson mom
was the word!
I believe my first experience of boxing was watching the tube in Toronto although fending off my older siblings with stiff jabs was commonplace back home, especially during annual fondues.. I remember on Friday nights watching some of greatest fights of Ali´s career including Foreman, Frazier and Norton. It´s hard to imagine that Grandpa and Grandma enjoyed the fights so much especially since violence was not in their nature. I´m still a boxing fan today and still have to fend off my siblings with uppercuts and a decent right cross! I can´t recall exactly when Grandpa and Grandma moved to Beach Street in Deep River but it was sometime around 1973-74. It was at this time that I realized that house smells can also be moved from place to place just like furniture. As funny as it sounds, there are such things as individual house smells that are as unique to people as fingerprints are. Within a day of moving in, Deep River´s house smelt like Toronto´s house and I can´t sat enough of how great a feeling it was! It has remained a mystery to this day. You could blind fold me and fly me anywhere in the world and I´d recognize that smell over anything. Sounds weird but very true. First thing I recall them doing in Deep River is building a mulch box and garden because again all true Hochban´s should have one and besides Knob Hill Farms was too far for them to drive to get fresh veggies. I hope everyone gets the point after another key hint and continues this lost art of gardening. One day while living in Point Alexander, the three of us boys decided we were going to walk via the beach method all the way into town (5 miles) to visit Grandpa and Grandma. The reason this was important is because I witnessed the day my older brothers became men…or so they thought. That´s right, we had some smokes with us and we had every intention of lighting all six. I believe Chris got them from some guy named Vern or Clem and he´s been talking funny ever since After smoking my three I could have stomped a mud hole in the behind of any stooge or Stefanich that crossed my path! There was power in the Craven-M´s. For the record I inhaled while Chris and Cliff didn´t have the jam! Anyway, to get back on track we finally surprised Grandpa and Grandma with our arrival however Mom and Dad had to come pick us up or should I say bail us out. I guess we didn´t have the heart or lungs to make the trek back but our goal was to surprise and we most certainly did. I remember Grandpa and Grandma couldn´t believe it that we´d walked all that way just to say hello. It was a sunny day and we were all (kids) on the beach as per our usual summer activities. I remember Mom yelling at us from the top of the cliff that something was the matter with Grandpa. I was probably in a state of shock because I don´t recall much more other then the funeral. This was my first brush with death and I soon realized that I was never going to see Grandpa again. I was told that Grandpa was in the back yard watching the birds when he quietly passed on. How fitting it was that his last thoughts were about life and the simple enjoyment of birds singing and flying carried him over. I can´t imagine a gentler way to die for one of the kindest, gentlest people that I´ve ever known. I wish I could have known him longer… |
| Grandma:
Although Grandma always thought of her life with Grandpa she soon began a new life in Deep River on her own. As difficult as it was for her she soon started to build a legacy of her own and still to this day people continue to amaze me with stories of her. Grandma soon became known as “Hamflam” and it seemed like the entire teenage population grooved to it. Everyone knew her…it was like a following! She was the most popular chick in high school and I´m not really that far off. Suitors where to follow but that´s later. In my grade thirteen of high school I moved in with Hamflam since Dad and Charlotte had moved to Ottawa. I not only had the benefit of many meals of burrocks, meatballs and noodles but I also had the enjoyment of listening to the Lawrence Welk shows daily. Between you and me, I started to get into the groove of elevator music after time but will vehemently deny the thought of it if mentioned to one my friends. |
| While living with Grandma, she for some unknown reason thought I was
a perfectly able bodied handyman. For those of you that know my skills
please wipe that snicker of your mug! For a short period of time I was
a dry wall specialist, painter, carpenter and landscaper. Grandma volunteered
my services to all the local Hamflams within a two- mile radius. I couldn´t
believe I was getting paid to do handyman work and for a while I was feeling
like I could make a dent in the industry in town. I was especially fortunate
that most of the Hamflams had difficulty seeing definition in my work for
it was that part of my skills that I lacked the most. I suppose I was cheap
labour though!
Hamflam´s first suitor was the infamous Freddy Bachelor. Although she asked me to keep an eye out for “sugar daddies” it seemed like fearless Freddy was the most persistent. Although it´s not my story to really tell, it´s only fitting that I should mention the Freddy date at this point. Flam invited Fred over for supper as sort of a date even though she would deny it if alive today. I convinced her that sauerkraut and meatballs was the way to go, mostly because I knew it would be worth a story or two and besides who can think of a more appropriate culinary delight that signifies Flaminator? That night Dad and Charlotte decided to have a little fun. They decided to go for a quick drive about town and if fate was to bring them to Beach Street, then so be it. To Dad and Charlotte´s surprise, while on surveillance a power outage occurred while fearless Freddy was mowing down on some sauerkraut and meatballs. Hamflam was apparently like Edith Bunker running around trying to light candles which of course was huge comic relief for Starsky and Hutch across the road. I believe that was their first and last date but a memorable one at that! After a brief hiatus of living in Ottawa I once again moved to Deep River with my wife- to- be Debi. This was a move that was mutually beneficial for both Grandma and us (not intended to be) since I´ve always felt this was my home and Grandma was without family in the area for a few years. Weekly visits were necessary and quite often we met for dinners but I was most happy knowing that before long Debi and Grandma became good friends. It´s funny how Debi continues the Christmas tradition of making afghans but even more interesting is I´ve recently noticed my favourite bottle of brandy slowly disappearing. We all know that Hamster´s had an affinity towards the fortified wine and must have shown my wife a few tricks of the trade. Grandma´s eyes would always brighten when a gift from the LCBO would arrive unbeknown to her. It´s the same look that Cliff use to get over Cherry Brandy or Chris still gets over a litre of Baby Duck! I guess it runs in the family? Most people in Deep River remember Grandma and her partner in crime Emma McCauley walking uptown at least twice daily to pick up their mail, do some grocery shopping or browse the LCBO for vintage. They were inseparable those two, and continuously graced the community with their lively spirit frolicking about town. Who could forget the two petite grandma´s with their special decorative hats roving around town looking for “sugar daddies?” I am constantly reminded by townspeople of how much fun they had together and am certain they brought a smile to many more! On a comical side, one day I was driving up the hill by the Post Office and noticed one of my friends was commandeered by Hamflam to help her negotiate the steepest part of the hill. I think all the Grandchildren at one time or another have helped her up that hill and yet she still managed to make it on her own twice daily or more. I think Grandma really excelled at weddings, parties or special occasions. She was pretty hip to the younger crowd and would often be the last one dancing. In particular I recall at Lisa and Bart´s wedding reception how much fun she truly had even when being tossed around on the dance floor by all my sisters! There´s something about witnessing older people (especially your own family members) have fun. To see Grandma exude incredible joy with her Grandchildren and family made me forget about all that was not important. I watched her laugh and dance all night and for this evening, Hamflam ruled! (My apology to the Bride and Groom) |
| I could go on and on with many more anecdotes of Hamflam but the common
message in each story is mostly about how she found happiness with the
least amount of effort. Small inconsequential things were important to
her but for most people they would be considered trivial, simplistic and
not worthy of thought. I loved her ability to laugh at herself, I loved
how she always fussed in the kitchen when you arrived, I loved how every
Christmas I was given a tin of “Poppy-Cock,” I loved the Grandma smell
of her house, I loved how we always had an extra towel to wipe the shower
walls after showering, I loved the mulch box, and for posterity I loved
those yellow handled butter knives!
Although both Grandpa and Grandma have passed on, we are still reminded
of their lives each time we pass by their little white house on beach street
or by her their many friends in town.
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